without swimming i have no life.. with it i have no time for a life

11:30 pm

WRT Due: 17 days
powerPoint:18 days
lesson plan:11days
calc test: 12 days
psych test: 12 days
comp port: 18 days
HOME: 25 days

and the fun begins.

06:11 pm

i so should be writing my censorship paper. becasue my draft sucks horribly. but i don't care. i don't want to and i know that i am just making more work for myself for before my portfolio is due, but i am just so out of the creative juices to create a good reaserch paper.


i should be working on my midterm for ed 200 that is due thursday. but instead i am writing here, sitting in the lobby getting nothing done..

I hate calc 2. it is horrible and just the thought of it gets me stressed out.

my right butt/back. thigh area is soooo sore.
i <3 sledding with the boys.
so much fun..
even though i want to fall asleep right now becasue of the lack of sleep that i have got in the last 4 days. ickkkk.

5 days till break. and i can go to DC and have fun with my group and help people for a week and not think about all the work i have to do.

20 days till i can go home to my big bed. to my best friend. to home cooked food. to my favorite kids.

ok i really should do some homework now.

blah

Lauren

10:01 am

pretty boy in calc.
makes me get out of bed... to go to calc.
oh what fun.

11:29 pm

i am supposed to be there
i want to be there
why am i missing this
this is like missing a holiday with my family
i am going to cry.
i wish i was going to be there.
like i would pay the $55.00 to take the bus for 3 hours there and back in the same day.
i didn't think this would be so hard on me.
but it is.
.... i am going to bed to think on this.. maybe i will do what my heart wants and take the bus. and not do what my head says to do. stay and study.

it aches.

07:30 pm

i got blocked. i didn't think that would ever happen to me.

05:25 pm

"I've come to realize..."

1. I've come to realize that, my ex is:
is one of my closest friends.

2. I've come to realize that, I talk :
really loud and alot

3. I've come to realize that, I love :
having a roommate, and my family/

4. I've come to realize that, I have:
people that lov me sooo much

5. I've come to realize that, I lost :
that feeling of having everything i want at that moment

6. I've come to realize that, I hate it when :
people i love don't make the effort to return my calls

7. I've come to realize that, Marriage is :
something i dream of, and currently isn't in my thoughts

8. I've come to realize that, Somewhere, someone is thinking :
lauren is a dork.

9. I've come to realize that, I'll always be :
someone that would rather volunteer or work with children then do anything in the world..

10. I've come to realize that, I have a crush on:
the thought of having a boy.

11. I've come to realize that, The last time I cried was :
nearly earlier.

12. I've come to realize that, My cell phone is :
sad casue it never rings.

13. I've come to realize that, When I wake up in the morning:
i go i need to sleep more.

14. I've come to realize that, Before I go to sleep at night I:
miss all the people that i love.

15. I've come to realize that, Right now I am thinking about:
the funeral. my calc quiz. how i have to go to dinner with sam again gah

16. I've come to realize that, Babies are :
who i miss soooooo much right now

17. I've come to realize that, I get on myspace :
not as much as facebook.

18. I've come to realize that, Today I:
talked to kristin

19. I've come to realize that, Tonight I will :
watch grey's by myself most likely

20. I've come to realize that, Tomorrow I will :
see my family. my brother. and people i have missed

21. I've come to realize that, I really want to:
alot of things i can't have

22. I've come to realize that, my favorite thing at the moment:
tv. and ice cream.

23. I've come to realize that, the best moment of the day:
is when i laugh

24. I've come to realize that, school:
stresses me sooo much

25. I've come to realize that, ten years from now:
i want to be married. have 1 kid. a horse and a job.

26. I've come to realize that, the world:
is one big problem

27. I've come to realize that, I cant force:
force people to like me

28. I've come to realize that, best friends:
are my favorite thing.

29. I've come to realize that:
everything is not the way i want it to be

(Leave a comment)

02:53 pm

i know that i should be reading profit over people right now.. but instead i am typing here and talking to brian, and thinkung about 10 thousand other thngs beside profit over people.

school is good. i love it here, though i still don't feel like this is truly my home. nor do i feel that i am supposed to be back in LO. i feel that i am currently at camp or something. yet i don't know if i want to leave or stay at the camp. it is a weird feeling. my classes are good, i liked the girls on my floor, they are nice. though i havn't found that thing that will fill my time. all the girls on my floor party alot, like all weekend and go clubbing during the middle of the week. as many of you know that is not me, i am not a party girl. i am not the girl that goes and get trashed friday night sits all day in bed on saturday and then goes and gets trashed again on saturday night. i want to get out and do fun stuff but, not at the cost that could get an mip. the cops are always at the apt. complezes right off campus busting underagers. so i am scared out of my wits to go with the girls that invite me. yet i also i am not 100 % confiedent that i would even want to go with them. is this making sense? i am hoping so. the last 2 nights i have kinda felti dunno lonely, all the girls went out leaving the arounf 10 people left on my floor for the evening. i tried going to the ice breaker danc eting last night with a few girls but that was kinda akward it was me 4 black girls at a dance wher ei have never ehard any of the songs they played in the 1hour that i stayed. and the whole room full of black kids dancing, not that i have any racial issues i just i dunno felt out of place so i came back here, and watched 1/2 and episode of one tree hill and fell asleep. last night i actually wanted to cry. i feel that i have eyt to meet that group of people that are similar to me, i dunno i have met a few girls but they don't ever want to do anything after like 9pm. i want to have legal fun! i miss my besties. that are all over both the state and the country. kim in ann arbor. kristin in oxford, not really having to meet new people casue of no one leaving oxford to go awayto school. alex in st. Louis, emily in Ohio, but i have gotten used to not hearing from her ever, and michala in Kentucky. i need something to fill my time besides school work. i ahve started to swim again on my own it clears my head and is very refreshing.

ok i should get back to reading. if you have comments leaving them or call and chat i love almost peeing my pants when my phone goes off casue the vibrate is soooo loud.


love peace and all that jazzz...

me

Current Mood: blah

06:35 pm

I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND KRISTIN WHO CALLED ME WHILE SUGARLAND WAS PLAYING SETTLIN'. I LOVE HER.

01:40 pm

so i know that i never write in here.. but yea.
last night was intresting
went to ryan's grad party, which was boring since well i am one of those good kids that doesn't get trashed. and play beer pong. so really while we wre there it consisitated of eatting food.. eatting frozen yogurt and getting it everywhere, and then watching kristin's dad beat a bunch of guys at pong. which is an odd situation becasue of the fact that all the guys/ and girls later on are kids i have went to school with, and yes some o f them are actually friends with him i know but some were just there for the free booze. which is kinda weird for me being the fact that i know ryan outside of school, and since he was like 2 years old. maybe before that. so i know that all the guys are thinking umm what the ehck is lauren doing here she doesn't drink so shes not one of ryan's close friends ro something. why is she here. and you know i am fine with the idea that yea teens drink and stuff. perfectly fine with it actually, even very now nd then i consider. what really gets me is when they do it in front of young kids. such as my 10 year old sister. i mean she is not stupid she could fiqure out what they were doing. after last night kylie could prolley be a ref for the game. which is not something a 10 year old should even know about. ti makes me mad that my sister saw/ has seen that.

moving on from that rant, the rest of the evening was ok me kristin and ken went back to her house and watched almost famous.i called brian to see if he wanted to come but wasn't surpisred when he couldn't come. i have basically accepted the fact that there is nothing between us and that i need to go to school and meet a new boy but any who... the movie was good though i didn't get to see the end! anyone know the end??? leave a comment if you do! we watched that kristin fell asleep so we moved her to her bed and cleaned up. ken is a good guy, i am glad he is her boyfirend. he is one of the funniest and nicest guys i have met.

so that was basically my evening!

ok off to get ready to go to eric's grad party.

Current Mood: so tired

04:27 pm

he goes up north for 10 days.. i miss him for 10 days. i can't wait for him to come home so that i can hnag out with him. and hes reading harry potter and doing paperwork for school!


gah.

12:36 pm

ahhh life is good this week. other then the fact that brian is away. i wish he was home, i want to tell him all about misson. and my i would love for him to be home on bday.  i turn 18 sunday.. yea. i am so exicted to see hp tonight. and for chrisitina's grad party....

ok gotta work

<3
lauren

11:05 pm

my day was good!

- pumping pilates
- hanging with the best girl ever ( kristin marie mcisaac)
- volleyball in the rain and shine for 5 hours!

10:20 pm

 i am so content right now.... of course there are things that i want... but i feel happy and giggly

09:44 pm

i love the summer weather... but i hate bikinis...

07:15 pm

oh my.

i feel like i want to cry

i feel horrible

i just realized how much of a jerk i was to him

i was horrible

and i never realized it

i didn't see that he was willing to do basically anything for me]

and when i stopped things

i broke his heart majorly

i wish i could take it all back

i was stupid.

08:31 pm

Rent = amazing show <3

05:26 pm - i should be studing physics

so i don't write hereoften but i thought that i would update with this crazy long blub with what i kinda want/ miss... btw i need a prom date know anyone that free :)

04:57 pm

09:29 pm

07:53 pm

an 93 in ap physics.... a 15/15 on a free response question... and a 87% on the final = good... but that doesn't change i can't do the hw...

Current Mood: crazy